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Are All These Lab Tests Necessary?

Sep 30, 2015 | Curbside Consults

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I feel confused and my bones ache

and I’m breathing really fast and had diarrhea and

I’m inflamed like a wild man.

Something’s growing inside. I can feel it

penetrating my visceral fat

all the way back to my kidneys.

My flanks hurt and my urine is dark

and I ate an entire fox glove plant

and I tried to diet but also stopped my Lipitor

and I’m dark and tan and my sugar is high and I’m infertile

and eat nothing but Bacardi and Twizzlers. I know I drink too much

but I stopped menstruating and

can’t stop drinking

and the baby made me leak sugar

and I’m still not the same

and maybe I am pregnant

Do you think I’m pregnant?

They say my good stuff is good

even though I have no control of anything else, don’t even monitor it

and maybe that’s why I turned yellow after I shared the needle with your

brother after having sex with him and his girlfriend’s brother and now

I feel so weak

and tired

and wonder what really could be wrong.

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© Richie Smith 

© Richie Smith